Mattering

Tuesday, September 29, 2026

If you’ve visited the back hallway at Convivium (where the restrooms are), then you have surely seen our mission wall. This is where we have the graphic that illustrates how we embody the mission of Convivium. Surrounding that graphic are picture rails with photos and newspaper clippings of our various activities through the years. If you look closely, you’ll see that those clippings are fastened to cookie sheets – a subtle nod to all the food that is grown, cooked and eaten here.

This concept for the back hallway installation was conceived and implemented by our good friend Sister Ruth.

Sister Ruth passed away recently, so she has been on my mind. Her creativity, whimsy and incredibly positive, buoyant spirit are forever imbued in the loving thought and creativity that she shared with us to help us show and explain to others what we do around here. What a gift.

And as I’ve thought about Ruth and that wall, I’ve also been thinking about something else: What does it mean to make a difference?

I recently came across the concept of “mattering” – the human need to know that we are significant to other people and that what we do makes a difference. This idea is explored by sociologist Zach Mercurio in his book Mattering: The Quiet Force That Makes Us Human.

Mercurio argues that mattering is a fundamental human need, distinct from simply being liked, valued or successful. To “matter” is to experience two things:

• I am significant to other people. My existence makes a difference.

• I can contribute something significant. What I do has value and impact.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that this is something we have been creating at Convivium, perhaps without even knowing there was a word for it.

We have said from the very beginning of Convivium that we want this to be a place of belonging for everyone – regardless of gender, age, political affiliation, race or sexual orientation. Come as you are. You are welcome here.

But what I didn’t necessarily see coming is that, over time, Convivium has also become a place of mattering.

Belonging says: “There is a place for me here.”

Mattering says: “And who I am makes a difference here.”

We would not be the organization we are today without the time, talent and gifts of the people who have come into our orbit over the years. Customers. Employees. Volunteers. Donors. Students. Neighbors. Casserole recipients. Friends. Board members. People who wandered in and somehow became part of what we are.

And the beautiful thing is that they haven't all been alike.

Real community isn’t made up of interchangeable, agreeable people. Life is a little more messy than that. It is made up of particular people with particular gifts, histories, opinions, eccentricities, wounds, enthusiasms and ways of seeing the world.

And isn’t that great?

Sometimes the very thing that makes someone “different” is precisely the thing they contribute that nobody else could.

That makes me think again about Sister Ruth. She had a particular way of seeing the world, and she brought that way of seeing to Convivium. She looked at a blank hallway and saw cookie sheets, newspaper clippings, a story to tell and an opportunity to make something beautiful. Now, every time I walk past that wall, a little bit of Ruth is still there.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of generosity in recent years. Social scientists have broken generosity into seven types: thoughts, words, money, time, things, influence and attention.

But I think this idea of mattering adds another dimension. Generosity isn’t only about what we give to people. It is also about allowing people to give what they have to give.

That may be one of the things I love most about Convivium. Over the years, so many people have brought us something we didn't know we needed. A talent. An idea. A friendship. A little bit of creativity. A willingness to help. A different perspective. Sometimes even a little quirkiness.

And somehow, all of those gifts have become part of the place.

We are grateful not only to Sister Ruth, but to all of you who have mattered to Convivium through the years.

Thank you.

P.S. We are working on a project to highlight how Convivium has impacted lives through the years. If you have a story to share, I’d love to hear from you. Please send me an email and I will reach out with further details: leslie@convivium-dbq.com.

Yours convivially,